I like hearing from people i havent heard from in ages. Its nice to sort of be brought back to memories of the times in which you did communicate regularly, its almost worth losing touch sometimes, just to reconnect and catch up. Good news too, one of my favorite musicians is tryin to book a show for a few days before my 21st!!!!! so pumped, he said if he makes it we’ll do it up right for my bday lol, always fun to party with musicians you look up to. Hmm what else, school’s startin to get hectic and stressful, this whole actually trying thing is really starting to wear on me, but i guess i gotta just try keepin on pushin through it. Also last night i was in a really weird mood, another one of those, ‘holy shit im about to turn 21, where the fuck did all that time go, i dont have much time left on earth so i best get goin’ type of moods…its weird how one can feel so old at such a young age, but i guess being the type of person who always figured id be dead by 21 its kind of understandable. I mean i thought life would be over with  by now, so i almost gave in and somewhat fell behind, i need to start playin catch up so if i am gonna live for a while ill atleast be able to do it enjoyably. I want to get to the financial state to where i can just be sitting around with friends and family and say ‘so where do you guys wanna go to this week, singapore? ok ill call my private pilot’. I want to be able to enjoy life and do everything and anything i ever want to without worries, i hate being so damn stressed out all the time, my heart physically hurt this morning..i fear its finally starting to really take its toll, im constantly in a state of stress and high alertness…if i dont get past all this shit soon im just gonna end up with more problems than i started with…luckily i remain opitimistic somehow…i just know life will turn out ok…or atleast i tell myself that to keep myself going and sane. peace