I quit smoking weed 3yrs ago today...hows that for sticking to a resolution! haha..but seriously..thats wierd..

Eff this weather!

Je je...So i know you have shit going on in your life as well...but i'm not always the strongest person, and i've grown weak of tryin to chase after you, even as a friend it's hard sometimes...you mean alot to me, more than you'll ever know. I sit by so many times when i grow attached to people, and watch and help them become happy and go on and find someone to share their time with. I was gonna try and find the courage over vacation to tell you have a crush on you and would like to see if those feelings could go somewhere. I didnt want to be just another boy who asks you out, i wanted to try a different route, and maybe i should have, maybe i shouldnt have..but i can never read how you feel so i didnt know. But it's just too hard to even get a hold of you, let alone try and spend time with you..and i don't wanna be that guy that sits there and calls you over and over till you answer out of annoyance..and says yes out of pity..so i wont. I just had to write this to get it off my chest...I'll always be here as a friend when you need it..i just wish i had the chance to try and be more than that to you. I dont know what exactly i feel for you, cuz the time i get to see you is so spread out and far between...but i definately think of you as more than a friend...and i'm glad you'll never read this..cause then i'd just come of wierder than i've already been..i need to get my mind off this shit and sleeeep! peace

"I look up to the sky and say..it's now or never!"

F. Stokes and house cleaning...

Nom!

Was gonna train today...lookin outside im thinkin ima shovel and just workout at home today instead..

Fighting depression sucks! at the same time, trying to tell someone how you feel sucks...cuz you can never know how they feel, or what may or may not come of it

Kanser...nuff said!

Last final to fail for the semester...awsum..

Dunno why i even showed up for that final...

Damn..cashiers shuld work on commission! i always go to the lines with hot cashiers..regardless of how long they are lol

I love those wierd moments when ya catch eyes with a cute stranger and ya both just get this genuine smile ur both tryin to hide lol

So life lately…it’s been up and down. For a bit there I was super happy for no apparent reason..and I was enjoying that for once. But this last weak has been hell…on the same vibe it flipped on me and I got hella depressed for no reason I could figure out. As it hits I always find myself burning bridges with friends I love…unintentionally…I live for my friends, and I don’t mean to ever treat them like shit…but sometimes I find myself treating them with lest respect than I should be as a result of my shit mood…they don’t deserve it. I’m currently jobless..and hating every minute of it! I’m not a person who can just lay around all day and relax…luckily I’ve gotten back into bjj and working on music with our newly formed band! Win! I hope some good comes of the music we are starting to make..and I hope I continue getting back into shape! Peace

And jeana, if you read this, sorry im an over-analytical asshole sometimes..i just really enjoy your company, so i get frustrasted when ur not around i guess...

I lay here alone and wonder why anyone wuld even want to be around me..hell i cant even stand me...i get so frustrated sometimes and end up an asshole

I need to stop thinking..and fall asleep!

Hangover...fail

This the part of the song where the hook's supposed to go!

Wish alcohol culd destroy me...too bad i have tolerance...fuckshit

Kanser-it wrote itself...one of the best albums ever, i always forget, till i put it on again!

Cant seem to shake this bad mood today...maybe a lil training'll help!

Just cant seem to find a good mood today..sometimes i wish i still did drugs just to escape for a bit...but those days are long gone and over with..push on

Ghostface killah-together baby.....just sayin

I saw two ppl goin for a walk...and i thought to myself..damn, i wish we were goin for a walk...

Fell asleep at the computer...again..fail

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Well..that was def interesting..

Covered in mat and gi burns...win! feels good to be back

3am..why do you feel so late...when yet early is what you are...the fog has left, perhaps i am still alive.

Ya ever see that movie 'the others'? im totally gettin that vibe right now!

God i miss training! hope im back for a while now :)

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Billy Joel! that's my shit

Feels like im almost over bein sick..time to get back in shape!

Alcohol...my new sleeping pill...but still, seriously, 90's asses!

...nothin like a nice 90's ass. BAM!

Interesting start to the day so far :P

Somebody musta hit the snow bank..funniest shit, they left behind the license plate that musta came off..still stuck straight up in the snow..fail!

Huh...

Lettin weight drop where the ropes worn thin. Wait stop, still don't want it to fall in. Just changin the connection.

Class=suck! bjj today? you know it!