Waitin to go on air and bust out some acapellas!

I like hearing from people i havent heard from in ages. Its nice to sort of be brought back to memories of the times in which you did communicate regularly, its almost worth losing touch sometimes, just to reconnect and catch up. Good news too, one of my favorite musicians is tryin to book a show for a few days before my 21st!!!!! so pumped, he said if he makes it we’ll do it up right for my bday lol, always fun to party with musicians you look up to. Hmm what else, school’s startin to get hectic and stressful, this whole actually trying thing is really starting to wear on me, but i guess i gotta just try keepin on pushin through it. Also last night i was in a really weird mood, another one of those, ‘holy shit im about to turn 21, where the fuck did all that time go, i dont have much time left on earth so i best get goin’ type of moods…its weird how one can feel so old at such a young age, but i guess being the type of person who always figured id be dead by 21 its kind of understandable. I mean i thought life would be over with  by now, so i almost gave in and somewhat fell behind, i need to start playin catch up so if i am gonna live for a while ill atleast be able to do it enjoyably. I want to get to the financial state to where i can just be sitting around with friends and family and say ‘so where do you guys wanna go to this week, singapore? ok ill call my private pilot’. I want to be able to enjoy life and do everything and anything i ever want to without worries, i hate being so damn stressed out all the time, my heart physically hurt this morning..i fear its finally starting to really take its toll, im constantly in a state of stress and high alertness…if i dont get past all this shit soon im just gonna end up with more problems than i started with…luckily i remain opitimistic somehow…i just know life will turn out ok…or atleast i tell myself that to keep myself going and sane. peace

Well winter this year can officially suck one…hard…its a chore just to stay standing on ones own two feet just walkin from building to building between classes…i even have fucken boots on but the ice is so slick on ALL of the sidewalks that i have to almost stomp each foot down to make sure it find even pressure as so it wont slip from underneath me. I saw 1 personally fully eat shit on the pavement and innumerable people come ever so close…including myself on many occassions. This is beyond rediculous…and getting fucking old. I feel like i am the only one with a brain too, people walking around in just a sweatshirt and some with no sort of hat or earmuff on…ok i dont mind the cold weather either, and can handle it better than most..but im not a fucking moron, we’re all human, we’re all suseceptible to frost-bite and exposure, and if i have to wear a goofy lookin face mask while walking to class you better damn sure believe im gonna. Id rather have fucken morons look at me like “whos this douche with a face-mask on, has he never seen winter before” than to damage the skin on my face for the remainder of my life from the exposure of extreme cold temperatures and wind…fuck that shit!!! peace

So im sitting in the mall using their free wifi cuz i have no internet in my apartment currently. And i now understand my buddy’s hate for crowds…im not sure why not of all times, i normally dont really mind crowds but there is some sort of being watched in this setting..i feel like what i am doing is being observed, and truthfully it to an extent probably is. I mean i personally ‘people watch’ so whats to say that someone isnt watching me and wondering what im typing on my netbook, and what im texting, and whats on my mind. Time like now is when i realize just how alert and aware i am, i believe i would do great in a combat/war situation for that fact alone. I am hyper-aware to what is going on around me, without realizing it unless i pay attention to what my senses are doing i know just about everything that is going on within my visible reach. I trace the movements of all the people walking, know where people are sitting in my vacinity, i know where my nearest exits are. If some sort of emergency situation would arise i feel id be the last person to panic and the first person to grab my phone and take action no matter what it entailed whether that meant helping or evacuating myself.I wonder if i am the only person who contemplates such things in as innocent a setting as a small midwest mall…and i wonder why i do, all it does is adds stress to my mind that is completely unnecessary in normal everyday situations. Me and my buddy had always entertained the idea of joining the military, but as of late i realized that i no longer an option for me, but he seems to be getting closer to actually doing it with getting sick of college and of drinking. We’ll see where it goes though, i just know that anymore i would not be able to commit myself to such a decision. I could not sign my soul to the government, i could not sign up to be sent overseas into a combat situation that is not an active defense of our country. The only way i would ever do it now is if the US ever had to directly defend itself against an enemy military, i would be the first to sign up! …note to self…hope that situation never arises….So far school is going good, i wish i had a littel more time to get on here and update my life, but frankly without internet in my apartment and my school day spent on school work i dont have time to get to some source of internet to just update very often. Im actually between working on reading assignments and going to jiu jitsu so i figured id stop by the mall to check blackboard and my ndsu email before class. Jiu jitsu has been going really good lately, i still need to get the physical energy to last through all the classes on MWF like i did all summer. But hopefullysoon, and tomorow we are taking a class picture at the academy so i will throw taht up on here as soon as i get a copy of it. Off to class early to workout beforehand. Peace

Waitin for Big O to wrap up 'time to hit da streetz' so i can get on and do my show as captain awsum on 'pm to am hip hop bpms' check it at kndsradio.com live streaming!
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