So i worked this morning...it was god awful...as usual, than immediatley afterwards i went to train some jiu jitsu, if felt good to get some live rolling in :) i think my passion for jiu jitsu was just reunited, i need to get back to training 5 days a week. I also cashed my last three checks today and it was nice to see myself going negative to positive (not literally of course, its been a few months since ive overdrawn...being broke as hell sucks...and thats why i steal my internet connection lol). But the part that sucks is knowing in a week and a half next semester starts and ima spend quite literally all of that on books...rent is always tough the month a semester starts :\ I've also been bumping One Be Lo all day today, i forgot how bomb the guys from binary star really are...music is my life! I also talked to one of my old buddies for the first time in MONTHS yesterday, he was thinkin bout swingin down to visit today but its gettin later in the day and i dont think he's gonna make the drive this late lol i wouldnt either, im sure we'll chill someday soon though. Hmmm what else? Unno, i'll post more later. peace

Ya know the only reason it's bugging me so much is cause i was finally comfortable being me...and now i can tell im already hiding myself and worrying about how people perceive me, i had all but gotten over caring what others thought and was just able to express exactly who i am...not anymore...

I just dont feel like dealing with people in general today, works gonna suck.

Well i dropped a couple hundred dollars on a netbook today, hopefully itll help me keep up in classes and such this coming semester, me and john are both sort of on the point of either we're gonna stick it out and finish school or our college careers are done. Otherwise today i went to work, nobody i particularly care for worked today except my neighbor moza lol. Afterwards i came home and cleaned a little in my apartment then went to fitness class at fargobjj...it was nice to get a ridiculously exhausting workout in, all the stress ive been having lately helped me to push even harder in the workout which felt good, im sure ill be sore tomorow, i only work another 3hr shift again so i might go try and get some open mat time in or atleast workout after i get off. I need to start finding more time to do that, especially now that coach is sorta of putting more responsibility on us as students. Im glad he is, it will be that much more motivation for me to keep increasing my game. My mind is still on the issues of yesterday, of course, but i just dont want to give a shit about it...otherwise its been just a chill and uneventful day. Peace

I come with a disclaimer...i really do, when i start talking to most people fairly close to the beginning i flat out tell them, hey if you dont want me talking to you, or if you dont like who i am simply tell me to fuck off. And im sincere about it, i know how to take a hint, if ya just tell me to fuck off i'll get it, not questions, ill leave you alone. Ive been fucked over time and time again so i dont like wasting my time, so id rather have someone just tell me, hey fuck off, and be done with it. And perceptions are interesting. The way we each individually see and experience the same occurance differently, sometimes wildly differently. I guess i've never had anything but good intentions...apparently that makes me a creepy weirdo. And i get it, but thats why i have the option to tell me to fuck off...Anyway that's the last i have to say about this, life goes on, got more important things to be thinking about anyway. peace